I am because he is the I AM

I am a planner, I joke with my friends I could plan a wedding in one day. Truth be told, I probably could. With having the ability to plan at the drop of a hat comes the weakness of this gifting, a lie really that I can fall victim too. The lie is that ‘I can do it’, that ‘I make things happen’. When there is nothing farther than the truth. My plans, ideas, creativity from the one who created air, water, my breath, every strand of hair on head. He is the ultimate creator. It is because of Him I dream, I inspire to be more, I crave love. It is because of Him I live. How could I not give back, pour all that I am back into Him. Those dreams, they are possible because of Him. I can do nothing without Him.

Dreamers need God. To often they can be found afar off on a branch trying to face there fears on our own only to be suffocated in the intensity of the world.

Without God we can do nothing.

I AM beautiful because HE IS BEAUTIFUL.

I AM PERFECT because HE MADE ME PERFECT.

I AM BECAUSE HE IS THE I AM.

Identity | I will be me

Since the new year I have found myself gripped in fear. Wondering, questioning, crying out to God how? Where? When?

I have found myself week after week coming home just to collapse in a ball of tears. This is not normal for me, unless the Lord is stretching me and asking me to surrender something really big in my heart. And that is just what is happening. But beyond that, in 2012 I am finding that God is asking me where is my identity coming from? How do I think my value is established? Is how I see myself based upon my comparison of others, of my past, of how well I have performed in the past, or do I judge myself based upon the goals I have for tomorrow. I found I was guilty on all counts. I had been judging myself against my past success. Comparing myself to other photographers. I was doubting Gods ability to work all things together for good.

I had detached from the promises of God and became self-centered. I had placed the role of God on myself and I was crumbling under the pressure. No one can live up to that, we were never suppose to be the ones to hold it all together. There is this beautiful thing called the cross comes into play. That is where every fear, tear, dream, goal, and aspiration is to be laid down. There were a couple days that I “woke up” from this dissolution that I thought I could hold it all together. Trying to work 30 hour job + running a photography business + my personal life was not working for me as I tried to balance it all. I now realize that I cannot figure out my life in a timeline, what I can do is live today to the fullest. There is NO need to try and be another person, or a person I use to be. I am who I am. Wonderfully, beautifully made.

I will never be any other photographer. I have things they don’t they have, and vice versa.

I cannot compare myself, my body,or my talents to the talents, or my body from years ago.

I cannot do everything.

I must choose.

What is it that makes me come alive?

What inspires me? Whatever the answer is, this is what I will do. Regardless if it is the popular choice. Regardless if others understand. I will follow my heart. I will trust in God.

I will be me.

I will choose a spirit of excellence over a spirit of perfection.

I will walk out my salvation in the fear of the Lord.

I will sing my praises to God.

I will not hold back from living life.

I will be me.

I will not fear failure.

I will not fear success.

I will love deeply.

I will be the daughter of God that God created me to be.

How?

By getting in the word of God and discovering more and more of who + what I was created to do.

I will be me.

Check out this song HERE. I am listening to it on repeat as I type this blog. Its called “Making me Over”

What I learned from shopping with coupons

Well tonight I took my coupon binder and I walked into target confident I was about to save a trillion dollars, okay maybe not a trillion but $100 would be nice.  Well I walked out learning a lesson. Being an extreme couponer is hard work! As I walked out I realized I need to write a blog on this. Cause I learned alot and I am hoping you can learn from my mistakes and from my gains. This was the first time I used store coupons with manufacture coupons on top of sale prices. I typically just use coupons here and there and am happy to save some money. But this time I actually went in pre-planning what to buy and with what coupons. I only purchased items with coupons this trip.

So to start here are my lessons I learned from tonight:

  • I went in without an actual total of how much I would spend – Not a huge no-no, but it could have helped me.
  • I went in on a Monday night. Uh- not smart. I should have gone the second I got my sunday morning ad. The really good deals I could have gotten for free were GONE. Lesson learned = EARLY BIRD GETS THE WORM
  • Always bring your entire coupon binder. I went in thinking I was going to find some aveeno haircare products aka shampoo, but realized they were more expensive than I wanted to pay even with $4.00 in coupons. So I looked in  my hair section and sure enough I had a $3.00 off coupon for another brand for two products and the shampoo + conditioner was on sale for $3.50. Now you do the math. Yep, I paid $.50 for one bottle of shampoo. And the sale price for the conditioner. (Pretty much buy one, get one free scenario)
  • I also had extra toothpaste coupons which was perfect because check out the toothpastes I scored. They also have $10-$13 of coupons in each package plus floss + travel size toothpaste or mouthwash. So I bought an extra package of toothpaste simply for the coupons. (haha)
  • Go into the store BEFORE you go in with your coupons so you know what the prices are of everything
  • Read ALL the fine print. I found myself at walmart thinking I was getting a steal of a deal and making money on cleansing bars by neutrogena + aveeno only to re-read my coupon and see that the item I was stocking up on was on the excluded list:/ Oh that little fine print.
  • I DID go in with my shopping list and I wrote out everything I had coupons for those items BUT…
  • I did NOT know the actual price of all these items. This is very important. Seems simple enough, but I neglected to do it on all my items.

 

What I got on this trip:I bought less than I had intended + I also bought more products that I intended because of some of the deals I got.

Price before coupons: $32

Total saved: $12.83

Total percentage saved: approx. 40%

I was hoping for something grander than that but I have to say I am happy with what I got, it was all on my list. But I will be going back to the store when the shelves are re-filled to get the rest of the items on my list that where either free or under $.50ea.

Feminine Products total paid: $5 | Saved $4.00

Shampoo: Paid $4 | Saved 3.00

Hair Spray + Acne Medication were both half priced after coupons

Toothpaste I didn’t save all that much using only .75c coupons BUT they were a good investment with the coupons I got from both of them plus the free products inside.

2011 | Let me take you out of my box

Wow, what a year! 2011 has surpassed my expectations and dreams to say the least. Yet I feel like it is just a foretaste of what is to come for 2012. In 2011 I found myself holding on to promises, dreams, hopes, goals. But sometimes we hold onto dreams to tightly and as a result there is no room for God to move because we have built a pre-conceived box around our goals and hopes and  are only able to see things according to how our mind thinks it will play out. But when we choose to stop grasping so much at the dream in our heart and surrender it to God we find endless possibilities and opportunities. This is what I found this year….

Well I had typed out each month this year and what I did. But a timeline doesn’t seem fitting for this post. Seems like the easy way out. Behind the timeline is what matters. What my heart was going through, the journey God was leading me on. That is why I want to write. That is the purpose of this blog.  So I scratched the month-by-month timeline. Because at the end of the day it isn’t about accomplishments, it all comes back to my heart posture before the Lord. So with that said, where have I stood over the last year?

I have found myself clinging to Jesus, to Abba God tighter and fiercer than ever before. You see when you pray for something, and then you stand face to face with answered prayer everything in the world will try and pull you apart BUT all of heaven will be standing there with you backing you up if it is Gods will. Fear will try and grip you, but faith will take over and remind you of what life is all about. Doubt will try and creep into your mind, but Hope will remind you all things are possible with God. Answered prayer comes in so many forms. It is our job to open our eyes and to not limit God to how He will answer those prayers. It is NOT our job to try and answer our own prayers. He is God. He is eternal- His ways are not ours. This I have learned, and am learning how PERFECT His ways are, especially compared to my idea of what I’ve thought my life should/would look like over the years. But the funny thing is if I dig past all the boxes, all the ideas of how my life would plan out at the root of it- it is the same dream. It is the same plan.

love.

This year I choose to take God out of my box I had Him in. When I did I found myself deeper in love, my faith increasing, my hope restored, I found my first love all over again. I found love conquers all. It always has, and always will.

Just let love in.

The ache for 2012

It is that ache in your heart to see whats within you released. To see the dream made manifest. To see the picture in your imagination on paper… This is what my heart aches for… Praying 2012 is the year of just that.

That 2012 would be: The longing of my heart made manifest.

There are so many dreams within my heart that I cannot bare to hold in any longer.

Tears escape from my eyes as each one waits a little longer.

Some know there time is coming soon, drawing near.

Other dreams I am unsure of just how to execute them…

It is an ache, a longing for more than what is before me. To release that which has been given to me. A gift, a song, a picture. Oh to be all that we are called to be. This is my desire. 2012 do not disappoint.

Walk in Closet | Before + After Pictures

Today I got to organize the master walk in closet. It took me about 2.5 hours {including time talking on the phone distracted}

(All pictures taken on phone)

What I did with this closet was take out EVERYTHING on the top shelf and on the floor except for the three things they asked to leave there. Then I brought in the storage organizers I had available and began filling them up with things that belonged in closet. I found alot of things that don’t belong in a clothing closet. Isn’t that the downfall of any closet? It becomes the catchall for any and everything. So I sorted out what needed to be put in storage, what needed to be taken out of brown boxes and put in plastic bins. I added a hanging clothing organizer in the middle which I like because I think it gives the closet balance to not just have one. Overall, over 6 boxes of stuff was condensed down into the plastic bins you see in closet. I took out 2 boxes of photographs as motivation to actually put them in photobooks and one bin of summer clothing out to be put in attic. Otherwise everything went right back in closet- just where it belonged though.

The bins I had available to use – I actually didn’t use them all (not sure why laundry baskets are in this picture)

Those are all the boxes I got rid of that had things in them.

Organizing : Before + After Pictures

Today I got the organizing bug. Since I live at home with my parents they have a whole house of endless opportunities for me to organize. Today my mom said I could organize under the china cabinet…Well that got done, plus the drawer above it and another drawer that I knew looked horrible {to me}. Here are the before and after pictures:

BEFORE:

About this area: This area seemed to have become the “put it here” for seasonal table decorations whether it be linens, candles…

AFTER:

Before I started I had found the two white bins that you see in After picture. This is in no way perfect, but I did what I could with what I had. When I went through I found two boxes-one empty and one with a cheesecake pan in it {wrong place for pan} that were permanently moved out from cabinet. The bottom white bin is holding seasonal outdoor tablecloths. The top white bin is holding brand new napkins, plates and such for parties. The biggest issue were all the plastic and tin food platters- they seem a great idea when you buy them and then you remember you have to store them. They are huge! All the ceramic bowls and plates just got stacked ontop of each other with fabric napkins placed between them (the fabric napkins used were odds + ends ones, not apart of a set we use).

Next up was the linen drawer above this cabinent.

BEFORE

As you can see all the place mats + napkins were just put it after they were used with no real order. Enter organizing kymberly!

AFTER

This drawer was super simple. I just put all the placemats + napkins together that matched. folded them and made 3 piles + done.

Next up was the “lunch making” drawer.

BEFORE:

I actually started taking out thing and then realized I forgot to take a before picture so I put everything back the way it was. haha. This drawer houses things for packing a brown bag lunch + picnic eating.

AFTER:

When I was sorting through this drawer the main thing is everything was falling out of the containers they were in (if they were in something). So I put everything in the bags they were suppose to be in, combined some of the flatware and straws so we didnt have three bags of each. Put hot and cold cup lids in plastic baggies and put everything back in a way that everything could easily be seen and taken out. I am a huge fan of plastic ziploc baggies when you are on a budget or are organizing without any money besides what is in your house.

Hope you enjoyed reading! In the next month I get to organize my parents walk in closet. That to me is what christmas morning is to kids. I told you, I love organizing ;) Let me know if you need some help if you are local, I would love to trade services with you if you have something that I could use.

One year later.

Today I am reminiscing on one year ago and the amazing men and women the Lord put in my life when I did the OneThing internship {July 2010- December 2010).

I am reaping from that which I sowed one year ago. The tears, the fears that I let go, the surrender, the sleepless nights…No one quite understands what going through the internship is like unless you have done it. So many of us came into internship needing a touch, needing to be revived, to be reminded of our first love, needing to face our reality. I went in desperately wanting a real touch from the Lord. The internship {for those who have not followed my blog} is designed to put you in the the position to sit before the Lord 5-12 hours a day after taking a class on topics such as End Times, Intimacy with Jesus, Revival… It gives you the ability to talk with him, to pray with Him, to worship Him longer than most people will ever do daily without being in a house of prayer. In this time you find yourself {or at least I did;} facing a decision will you continue to believe the lies the enemy has spoken over you, or will you take the truths that your first love speaks over you?

I found myself in the furnace of His love letting go of each and every dream- all for His love. It was the best of times. Yes, even the surrender. Because to surrender is to show you trust the one you are surrendering to, that they will be faithful to there word. This year I have been seeing the fruit of the surrender to His perfect timing, to His will. The cries in my heart God heard. He never once turned his gaze from me, he heard every word that came from my lips and my heart. Even in my unbelief, even in my unknowing of how he would accomplish that which He said He would, He is doing each and everyday working everything for Good.

Today I take a moment to thank God for those who He has brought into my life over the last year. My fellow interns have changed my life and continue to everyday. God put us all together for a time such as this. He knew where we needed to be loved, pushed, stretched, disciplined and He brought just the right people in our lives to do just that! To all my OTI family I love you, let us NEVER forget how far the Lord has brought each and everyone of us even if you cannot see it today or tomorrow let us hold fast to the truth of Gods nature that He has never led us astray nor will He ever. Whether in the wilderness or under the apple tree His goodness abounds. I love you all. Let us all give thanks for the amazing work He has done, and furthermore for His unending love that is never dependent upon our faithfulness to him.

My roomies

“For such a time as this” God put us together