What do you do when people judge?

6170d5fca1c011e3976a12bdcf22603f_8So what do you do when someone judges you?

No, not just your appearance but your life. Your lifestyle. Tonight I had this happen to me. Someone came to my husband and told him he needed to make sure I was living my life a certain way.


Yeah I was just as shocked as you may be.

Let me preface this with saying I am not living in sin, this was not a needed “intervention” moment or anything of the sort. This was a judgement. Someone from the outside who I do not have a relationship with decided their two cents needed to be heard. This person felt like I needed to be further along in my healing process of mourning and grieving my moms death and proceeded to tell my husband this. I stood there shocked as my husband relayed the conversation to me. Then anger arose with me. Then the tears began streaming down my face. My face softened and I just cried arms wrapped around my husband.

I use to be that person. I never understood cancer. I never understood why it was “so bad”. I never understand the pain of losing someone.

Now I do though.

I have a grandmother who survived breast cancer.

A grandfather that died.

I have an aunt who has survived cancer TWICE.

I have a mother who died of cancer.

Please do not tell me I need to live my life fuller, that I need to take advantage of life better.

This is my life.

God is walking me through it every day. In his hands I safely find my guide. I cannot begin to express how terrifying this journey can be. Losing the very one that took care of you before birth is not something I wish upon anyone. My life last year was a roller coaster. In February my mom passed away. In April I was engaged. In that same month I was promoted to an incredibly stressful management job. In June my grandfather died exactly 4 months to the day that my mom died. In August I was married. Now it is March 1st of 2014. Just this year have I begun to be able to “breathe normal” and feel like myself again. I never thought the day would come that me or my husband would have to defend me. What I have been through has been traumatizing, hurtful, confusing, and lets be real DEPRESSING. However in all of that I never lost myself to any addictions, I never became a crazy angry person.

So what I am asking tonight is if you know anyone hurting tonight that you would come around them with arms of love. Please do not judge their journey. It is not yours to judge or examine.

There is one judge. God. I know He is doing such a beautiful thing in my life. I do not doubt his ability to move mountains. I know that NOTHING can separate me from His love. I would suggest to each and everyone of us to trust GOD in others lives as well.

Love people. Do not preach at them.

So to answer my question what do you do when people judge you? 

Forgive them. Love them. My biggest assurance in life comes from knowing that GOD SEES. God knows my heart. God knows my journey better than anyone else. God knows the plans He has for me and does not doubt His ability to see them to pass. So why should anyone else?

Last time I checked I had two jobs, a beautiful marriage, several blogs I run, friends to the death and family members who would do anything for me. If you ask me, my life is pretty incredible!!!



My friday finds…

This week has been so productive and plain FUN!! I had two days off to spend with my husband. I have had tons of time with friends [including a craft day today making fall and christmas decor] and lots of fun shopping finds. This is the week of free and sales for me. My heart is full.

So I thought I would share two of my favorite scores this week:

Shopping at Michaels:

Yesterday was an amazing sale day. With it being halloween ALL fall and halloween decor was 80% off at Michaels. I walked out with 5 bags totaling only $26!! If I were you, I would head over to your local Michaels and check it out!

Online Freebie:

I have been following Lara Casey for awhile. I was so excited when I won a free print of hers. [THIS ONE HERE] It now sits framed in our kitchen. Well I was reading through Lara’s website/blog and noticed one of her friends Emily Ley, who just so happens to have some incredible design talent and has a ton of FREE phone wallpapers. You better I believe I downloaded a couple of them right away.  Go HERE to get yours! She has some other amazing freebies HERE too. Let her know I sent you if you download anything!

[P.S. Lara also has some AMAZING desktop/iphone/ipad wallpapers for free too!! Go HERE]


pumpkin carving

I have never carved a pumpkin before.

Yep, I am 27 years old and have never carved a pumpkin. So when my friends decided to throw a fall party pumpkin carving included I said YES!

I bought my first pumpkin at our local bargain factory for only $3.99. (They were $11 at the cider mill we went to the day before) I love a good deal! I headed over to my friends gorgeous red house and we had a blast! Pumpkin bread, pumpkin brownies, popcorn, and fresh coffee. It was perfect!


Cider mill weekend.

Fall is finally here in Kansas City. Its been 70 degrees or cooler for the last week plus. Scarves and coats have been a must this week and I absolutely love it. It reminds me of washington weather.

Last weekend the husband suggested we go to the cider mill. I had never been, this being the first full year I have been living in kansas city. So this saturday we got in the car and drove out to the cider mill. It isn’t anymore than 45 minutes away.

I highly suggest going whether your single or with a family. So much fun!!


missing her.


This week has been full of life, of love, of laughter, of joy.

But it has also been full of moments of “mom…I miss you”. Moments of “Mom, I wish you were here”.

My thoughts go to the day of the wedding, the dancing, the ceremony, the getting ready.

How my mom won’t be there to watch me get ready.

…How my mom won’t be there to dance with my dad.

……How I won’t have my mom to look at during the ceremony.

………..How I won’t have my mom to hug goodbye as I leave the wedding to become a married woman….


I think about sitting next to my dad while everyone is dancing and saying three simple words.

I miss her.


This is my reality. My mom is not here.

My life is full, so full.I am so beyond blessed with all that is in my life. So please do not think I write about her and my missing her wanting pity. It is so far from that.

I write because I miss her and because I will never forget her.

I write about her because her memory and her legacy will never be forgotten.

Her life was radiant.

I want my life to be that too.

So as I sit here and think about her love, her selflessness, and her devotion to the Lord and it stirs my heart to carry on her legacy.


But still….

i miss her.