The 3 P’s of dating.

Dating has gotten so twisted by all the different ideas of what marriage is about. While I am not married, I do know a thing or two about dating and what works and what doesn’t. And I am hoping that this encourages those of you who are wondering what helps make a successful dating relationship. I wanted to write a blog about 3 important keys in dating. Now there are MANY MORE, but for this particular blog post I am going to cover three general topics that the Lord impressed upon my heart.

From beginning to end it is ALWAYS about God. As a christian you are looking for someone who you can partner with to run the race with. Compatibility is not based upon mutual interests apart from Jesus. Sure, that may be fun to like the same hobbies or activities but it is in no way a requirement to find a suitable spouse. It is so easy to come up with mental lists of what we want our future spouse to have, to be like, to look like. But ultimately God knows what we need more than we will ever understand. Finding someone who compliments you is nice. But finding someone who honors you is better. So a couple days ago the Lord put these on my heart, and I wanted to share them with you all.

::  3 P’s of dating ::

:: :: :: Find someone who PROVOKES you :: :: ::

Definition of PROVOKE:  to stir to action or feeling

Find someone whose life provokes you to be a better person. Words are easy to say. But someone who is living a life that provokes you to live your life FULLY for the Lord is a good one.

:: :: ::Find someone who PRAYS  :: :: ::

I mean really prays. Someone that you can entrust your deepest secrets to and know that there is no shame attached.  Someone who will war with you through the good and the bad. Find someone willing to get out of bed at night when the Lord wakes them up to pray and you have found a willing prayer warrior.

Make no mistake about it, as you draw near to meeting the man or woman that God has for you satan will take out every trick from his bag to try and get you two to either a. sin or b. give up. It really is true “the couple that prays together, stays together.” There is power, and where two agree it shall be done. Do not expect that life will be easy once you meet someone. It may be far from it. But know when to fight the battle (through prayer, through worship, through surrender)

:: :: :: Find someone who always POINTS you back to Jesus :: :: ::

This is KEY! Whether one of you is hurt or in pain the only person that can truly heal those wounds is JESUS.   When you are feeling weak, your husband or wife cannot heal you. Yes, they can comfort you, and they should. But they cannot heal you. Only God can fill the void, the hurt. Find someone who will point you back to God time and time again. Someone who understands that they are human and cannot fix you in anyway.

Other blog entries I’ve written on dating/singleness:

State your intentions please

Under Construction

Singleness: Proactively Waiting

 (Feel free to comment with your thoughts, ideas on this!)

Promise.

Women. You have got to listen to this.

He speaks truth.

A Man’s Promise from Christopher Beaudoin on Vimeo.

Looking for bloggers

If you have a heart for girls/women ages 12-25 and enjoy writing please email me! I am looking for other bloggers to collaborate with on a new project under works. Please email me at:

email: kymberlyjanelle@gmail.com

subject line: Writing/Blogger Contributor

There are times…

(this song is my current favorite song to “soak” too)

There are times in life when all you can do is just rest in God. Just lay on the floor, listening to worship music and “soak”. Taking in the majesty of God and His faithfulness to see you through every dark night, and His promise that joy always comes in the morning. There are times…when nothing you can do will change a thing and you must trust Him. Tonight is one of those nights. I do not look at it as a negative thing, not being able to do anything. I see it as an opportunity to see God work nightly. That is what He is best at. Have you seen the stars in the sky tonight? Stunning! Miraculous!

The choice to enter into this place of rest comes right before the laying down on the floor (or curling up in a chair, whatever you do) you make a choice; will you try and make things right that are beyond your capability, or will you simply choose to enter into His presence and let Him have his perfect way in your life. There are times in life when the best thing you can do is just lie there and worship Him, let the tears spill over, call upon His name. Laying there you have nothing to offer the King of Kings but He is so willing to meet us. For years I got caught up in trying to be perfect before I came to the Lord, prayed, or talked with Him. Now, I have learned that sometimes the best thing I can do is lay out a blanket, blast my favorite worship music and just lie there dwelling on God. Giving him total control over every circumstance in my life. Resting assured He will see everything to completion. It has become a favorite time of mine just laying my heart before the Lord.

There are times…when we can do nothing and have to hand it over to God to do the miraculous.

There are times…when offering your weak heart and your faith of a mustard seed are the perfect recipe for seeing the Wonders of God revealed.

So next time you feel like you cannot fix a thing, might I suggest- find some soothing worship music, lay out on the floor and just soak. Talk to God about your heart, your dreams, your loves, give it all to Him. If you have no words, that is okay God is amazing as speaking love over His children.

xoxo

Kymberly Janelle

Single or dating I encourage you.

I began writing on the group page on fb for the OneThing Intern Alumni and a status update began getting longer and longer and longer until I realized I need to blog what I was starting to write. So here it goes. I just want to encourage each and everyone of you who are single AND who are in a relationship. Follow and trust God in all your decisions whether to be single or to date. Do not date simply because you think it is the right thing to do, or that your parents love the person so they must be the right one. In choosing to date someone you must make God first and foremost. You answer to Him. Simply because you are dating someone does not make you better off than someone single. I personally have chosen singleness for over two years. I’ve known the Lord was calling me to it, and I stuck to it. And yes, people did ask me why I choose to not date, the questioned my motives. As if dating/marriage were the holy grail. Let me say it is not. God is! The answer to there questions though was simple for me, I needed more of God DESPERATELY and it had been a platform for me as a single woman who loved God to declare my love for him and show that life single DOESN’T SUCK! (excuse my language) But it really didn’t. So to you single guys and gals, keep holding onto the promises that God has for you. He is faithful to keep each other. Never lose hope that God remembers and God hears.

To those who are dating, or considering dating never forget what makes you come alive in God. Look for someone who pushes and challenges you to depend upon God first and foremost. Find someone who will fight for you to the death. Find someone who chooses to see you and love you as Christ loves you. Find someone who loves God more than you. Find that person, and you have found a good one. Remember that relationship is about you and that person and God. No other person defines your relationship, not society, not the church, no one. Let no one define what perfection is. Only Christ was and is. Your spouse will never be perfect, but the man or woman who knows there desperate need for God is a good one.

To sum it up, trust God in his leading. Whether it be for singleness for this season, or dating. Trust that what He has is good. Rushing into a relationship because you want to “be in love” or get married only causes harm. And might I remind you should already be in love, madly, deeply, head over heels in love with a man who died for you. I know I am. How about you?

So will you journey will me into a lifestyle called faith in trusting God in our relationships? 

And really ladies, being single is a beautiful time you have with the Lord that you will never have back again. I know I am soaking up every moment of it, I don’t know how long singleness will last for me personally but that is not what my concern is. My hope is not in one day marrying a man, my hope is in Christ Jesus.

Don’t let a moment go by that you do not live in fully alive.

I dare you to be.

Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalms 37:4

The saying “I dare you to be” keeps coming to my mind in this season. As a challenge to myself first and to others. I keep wanting to write “I dare you to be ___” on my Facebook, my twitter, my Skype, every social networking site everyday. So I thought I would write a short and simple blog about my heart behind “I dare you to be”.

It starts with a challenge, a challenge to be all that God created you to be. To not settle for less, to not look back at the past and declare that was the best. But to say that today, here and now has the possibility for a miracle. Believe that anything is possible – because it is! This year I am finding the lioness within me will not back down from becoming all that God created me to be. I cannot live a life settling for less. I just cannot. I was made to see heaven. I was made to know love, to be love, to encounter love. I was made to encounter the man Jesus everyday of my life in my prayer time, in my time of worship, in reading the Word. I was made for Him. I was made to delight myself in Him. So I dare you to do just that. To know, to believe that delighting yourself in the Lord is where real joy comes from. I dare you to believe that God is all you NEED. I dare you to believe that God is everything. I dare you to be EVERYTHING God made you to be- a worshipper in spirit and in truth.